I’m Raising My Own Enemies: Convos With My Kids

What the Convos With Kids category contains is a hot mess. But professionally I could say it’s a compilation of funny or interesting quotes and anecdotes that my kids and I have said to or about each other for the past decade. It’s better than it sounds, keep readingTotally worth it. And if not, just blame mama.

Some light housekeeping before you continue on to the fun:

Because rules are meant to be broken in this house, as you’ll see, I broke some basic writing and grammar rules. I often wrote as we speak instead of making things grammatically correct (but not always), and the formatting isn’t exactly the same or perfect on every piece, quote, or anecdote.

You’ll also notice I use ‘YO’ which stands for year old (16YO, 3YO) and ‘YOs or YO’s’ for years old and year old’s and… Well, you get the drift. I also generally don’t name the kids, I just use the ‘YO’ or ‘toddler’ and ‘teen’, etc. You’ll never know which kid said what at what age. I’m sorry not sorry for that.

And the above new rules I’ve just discussed are all broken within the book themselves too. There’s also a whole lot of quotation mark fuckery going on. So good luck with that. But I think you’re smart enough to figure it out.

Some clips, quotes, and anecdotes are missing ages because I had no idea I would be compiling them like this someday and therefore my notes got sloppy and some dates and ages lost. Deal with it. Or cry about it, like me. Either way, you’ll still enjoy!

One last thing, you’ll notice a lot of the quotes leave you hanging with no last word. That’s because we have certain stock looks we give each other to convey return sarcasm or annoyance. And/or we also move on to other topics pretty quickly, especially when we have no clue what someone just said and no motivation or will to want it clarified. We’re all a bunch of attention whores, trying to get a laugh, and if it doesn’t come, we move on in a beat.

At the very least, I didn’t write it out if it didn’t add to the punch, so essentially I trimmed the fat off our lives for your benefit, as otherwise, you would be sleeping through a 70,000-word blog category that falls flat.

And away we go…check it out.
But first, read this: I used to judge momsters like me too.

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