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Tag: elementary

Back Off the Web MD, Kid.

June 9, 2018 blamemama

19yo: Lachlan was in the nurse’s office today. Me: What for? 10yo: I’m pretty sure I have heart failure. Back…

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Posted in: Bodies Are Weird, Convos With Kids Filed under: elementary, funny kids, illness, parenting humor

When Kids Threaten Your Sanity with Band Instruments

May 19, 2018 blamemama

Ayeeee! This school year, the 9-year-old finagled a trumpet rental out of his dad to play in the elementary school…

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Posted in: Kids Kill You Slowly, School Daze Filed under: elementary, fails, farts, noisy kids, not gonna do it, parenting humor

Of Kids and Their Love of Farting and Fart Noises

blamemama

I initially brought you all here to complain about farting kids and how much they love to try to get…

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Posted in: Bodies Are Weird, Convos With Kids, Kids Kill You Slowly Filed under: elementary, farts, fun products, funny kids, gross, middle school, parenting humor, preschool, teen

Indestructible backpack? Challenge accepted.

May 9, 2018 blamemama

Parent: I’ll buy my child this expensive, practically indestructible backpack with reinforced straps and zippers that will.not.break. I’ll get it…

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Posted in: Kids Kill You Slowly, School Daze Filed under: elementary, gross, middle school, parenting humor

Pizza Bagels a’Plenty

May 3, 2018 blamemama

My 10-year-old tried making his own pizza bagels this week using the toaster and microwave instead of convincing me to do…

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Posted in: Food Shenanigans Filed under: elementary, food

Getting my kid ready for school: I was almost there this time

May 2, 2018 blamemama

Getting my 4th grader ready for school: Toys/table picked up? Check Fresh socks? Check Teeth brushed? Check Face clean? Check…

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Posted in: School Daze Filed under: elementary, parenting humor

A wart of personality, a wart of personality…

April 28, 2018 blamemama

One of my kids at 9-years-old said, ‎”Mom, my wart grew a personality all its own.” Friend: Okay then, time…

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Posted in: Bodies Are Weird, Care & Feeding Filed under: elementary, funny kids, illness, momster, parenting advice, parenting humor

Past the Age of Mom’s Compassion

April 22, 2018 blamemama

The first time my ex-husband had the flu, I locked him away in the bedroom and told him not to…

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Posted in: Care & Feeding Filed under: aging, elementary, illness, middle school, momster, parenting humor, teen

Q&A: Should I be upset if stranger criticizes my child in public?

April 19, 2018 blamemama

Q: Should I be upset if a stranger in public criticizes my child for their behavior? They’re just being kids!…

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Posted in: Disciplining Kids, Parenting Advice Filed under: disciplining kids, elementary, momster, parenting advice, parenting humor, toddler

Things I Never Thought I’d Say: An Open Letter To My Kids

April 18, 2018 blamemama

An Open Letter To My Kids When I asked my teen to pick up his dirty sock, I didn’t realize…

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Posted in: Convos With Kids, Kids Kill You Slowly Filed under: elementary, funny kids, middle school, momster, parenting humor, teen, toddler

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